smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

inzayned:

when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like

image

killself:

visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

godtierjanecrocker:

that-stupid-tardis-sound:

words i use in every sentence:

  • no
  • stop
  • dude
  • literally
  • like
  • seriously
  • man

that was a sentence right there

“No! stop dude, literally like seriously, man.”

men: women who wear makeup are just lying to us
men: it's 8 inches

lzbth:

this is my favourite i cannot pu t it into words poor ian

vagisodium:

if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough

simsgonewrong:

She’s the sister of my sim who just got married.

woodmeat:

*walks past a mirror*

*walks back*

you got kik?

RT if you a mega hoe but also a virgin