guy:

when someone keeps trying to take a pic of u when u already said no

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goldenclitoris:

when u know u mama mad at u but u gotta walk past her to get food from the kitchen
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rebageld:

unhealthy you say? the apple i ate when i was 7 years old begs to differ 

canadianslut:

I don’t use condoms ;)

not because i like to practice unsafe sex but because I never have sex

fake-mermaid:

fake-mermaid:

hotboyproblems:

I just walked into my brothers room, I’m so done

HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHA I CANT BREATHE

i need this on my blog again bc perfect

lesbianvenom:

i hate when people complain about how technology is “ruining everything.” i have over 200 pictures of my dog on my phone and i can send them to my friends when they are sad. how is that ruining anything. why do you hate happiness

urinatings:

*precisely determines where i should take the next bite of my sandwich*

Straight White Boy Problem #92

straightwhiteboyproblems:

i asked my gf to get me a hot chocolate a couple weeks ago and instead she got me an ICED hot chocolate from starbucks AND she also got herself a caramel ICED coffee. i wasnt mad but when i asked her ‘why’ she said she cant post hot drinks on instagram because the cups arent clear and it wont get any likes wtf

ernbarassing:

if im on tumblr more than usual that means i have a lot of stuff i need to be doing and im trying to avoid doing it

large-flightless-bird:

when you go in the bathroom and you don’t know if it’s water or pee on the ground

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