emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes

brujita95:

sometimes i remember that like white people dont eat rice that often like sometimes they have meals that are just meat and vegetables and its like??? wheres the rice??? what are you doing??? your plate isnt complete??? 

trulylame:

I wanna be a tiny person that lives on plants

verybigpimpin:

*txts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

inzayned:

when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like

image

killself:

visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

godtierjanecrocker:

that-stupid-tardis-sound:

words i use in every sentence:

  • no
  • stop
  • dude
  • literally
  • like
  • seriously
  • man

that was a sentence right there

“No! stop dude, literally like seriously, man.”

men: women who wear makeup are just lying to us
men: it's 8 inches

lzbth:

this is my favourite i cannot pu t it into words poor ian